Confidence isn’t about acting like you know everything. It’s more about feeling steady in your choices, being okay with uncertainty, and trusting yourself to figure things out along the way. When you stop trying to impress others and focus on showing up as yourself, confidence starts to feel less like a performance and more like a mindset.
It helps to define what confidence looks like to you. Is it speaking up more in meetings? Setting boundaries without guilt? Backing your own decisions without second-guessing? Once you get specific, it’s easier to practice confidence in ways that stick.
Drop the “Fake It Till You Make It” Mentality
You’ve probably heard that advice a hundred times, but it doesn’t work for everyone. Faking confidence can leave you feeling more disconnected and exhausted than anything else. People tend to sense when something’s off, which can make you feel even more unsure.
Instead, focus on acting with intention rather than putting on a front. You can still take bold actions while being honest about where you’re at. Confidence grows from small wins, not from pretending you’ve got it all sorted.
Notice the Way You Talk to Yourself
That running commentary in your head? It matters. Confidence often takes a hit because of self-criticism you wouldn’t dream of saying to anyone else. If your inner voice constantly points out what went wrong or predicts you’ll mess something up, it’s time to challenge that script.
You don’t need to swing to the opposite extreme and start chanting affirmations in the mirror. But shifting your self-talk to something more neutral or curious, like “I handled that better than last time” or “I’m still learning,”—can make a real difference over time.
Start Small and Stack the Wins
Trying to “be more confident” in a big, vague way isn’t going to help much. It’s easier to build momentum with small actions. Say no to a request you don’t have time for. Speak up when you have something to contribute, even if your voice shakes a little. Each of those moments adds up.
And don’t wait to feel 100% ready. Confidence often follows action, not the other way around. The more times you prove to yourself that you can handle a challenge, the more natural it feels to trust yourself in the future.
Learn How to Regulate Stress in the Moment
Confidence drops fast when your nervous system is in overdrive. If you’re dealing with sweaty palms, racing thoughts, or a shaky voice, you’re not going to feel grounded, no matter how prepared you are. Having tools that help you stay steady in the moment is huge.
Try deep breathing (the slower the exhale, the better), grounding techniques like feeling your feet on the floor, or repeating a calming phrase that brings you back to yourself. These things may seem small, but they give you the space to respond rather than react.
Get Feedback You Can Use
Sometimes, what feels like a lack of confidence is just a lack of clarity. That’s where good feedback comes in. Not the vague kind like “just be more assertive”—but specific, honest input that helps you grow.
Working with someone who understands the nuance of personal growth and leadership can help. A service like professional leadership coaching in Sydney can offer practical tools, fresh perspective, and the kind of accountability that moves things forward without the fluff.
Be Around People Who Bring Out Your Confidence
The people around you make a difference. If you’re always surrounded by energy that shuts you down or feeds self-doubt, it’s going to be harder to feel sure of yourself. Look for relationships where you feel seen, heard, and encouraged to show up as you are.
You can also learn a lot from watching how others carry themselves, especially when they do it without arrogance. Confident people often make those around them feel more confident, too.
Know the Difference Between Confidence and Arrogance
Confidence doesn’t mean being the loudest person in the room or having all the answers. It’s more about being steady, open, and secure enough to listen and adapt. Arrogance, on the other hand, often comes from trying to cover up insecurity.
The difference shows up in how you treat people, how willing you are to admit when you’re wrong, and how you handle feedback. If you’re aiming for real confidence, you don’t need to posture or compete—you just need to stay connected to your values and actions.
Take Your Next Step With Intention
Confidence isn’t one big leap. It’s more like a series of steps that gradually feel less uncomfortable. Start with what feels manageable, whether that’s speaking more clearly, making eye contact, or setting better boundaries.
If you’re not sure where to begin, you might benefit from reading about how to build emotional resilience, especially if doubt and stress tend to creep in during high-pressure moments.
Confidence is a skill. Like any other, it gets stronger with practice, reflection, and support. You don’t have to fake it or force it. You just have to keep showing up.